Dear Planet Earth,
I saw General Talpa walk into “Interrogation Tent 1″ (I’m sure I’m not the only one who calls it that) where they’re keeping our ominous prisoner. I sneaked around the tent and put my ear against the canvas. Talpa spoke in his usual gruff, laid-back tone.
I heard a muffled sound that might or might not have come from the captive.
“Have you looked at all at these pages we gave you? Seen your name on any of them?” I heard Talpa sigh into a chair. He continued his questioning without seeming to care about getting a response. “Doesn’t really matter. We’ll have the results of your fingerprints soon enough.”
There was a sharp cackle, and a groggy, female voice entered the conversation.
“You’re lying. You’re lying, and not well. We know your system is down. We know every system is down.” The woman took a deep and strained breath. “And soon enough, we know that you and the rest of your kind will burn with the fires of a thousand hells.”
Talpa spoke slowly; his eyelids were drooping in the scene in my mind. “And what is the ‘rest of my kind’? What do you think you are?”
“Soon enough!” The woman began to laugh hysterically. “Soon enough, upworlder!”
Her laugh was grating and venomous — an unrelenting whooping that would give the Wicked Witch of the West goosebumps. I heard the flap of the tent open and that was my cue to go.