Dear Planet Earth,

I said goodbye to Diana today. I propped her up against a tree and said a few words about her out loud. I wept like a baby. I tried to remember everything she ever said to me, what defined her as a human being and how she became an important part of my life in ten short days.

When she was really starting to go yesterday, Diana said she was a fraud. She said her name wasn’t really Diana Sunday and she was never a student at UNLV. Phyllis O’Conner was just another deadbeat post-teen working at Blockbuster when the tremors started and she realized she could make herself whoever she wanted. She was sorry, she said. She said I didn’t have to blame myself for her death because she never really existed.

But things are never that easy.

I’m heading toward the mysterious object outside the city, just like Diana and I planned to do last week. Judging by the number of cars on the road, I’m not the only one.

The dust is starting to clear around it, showing some very weird features. I don’t know if this is a satellite, an alien spaceship, or even a time machine. I only know that whatever it is, it’s inextricably linked to these crazy phenomena all across the globe and those homeless people were willing to kill to keep us from it.

I checked the back of the Hummer today and found it filled with assault rifles, body armor, hand grenades, and plastic explosives. I’m a grieving, hormone-filled teen with murder on the mind. Those bastards better hope I run out of gas.



  1. Suzie

    You propped her up against a tree???? You couldn’t MacGyver a shovel? You call her your friend and you left her to rot up against a tree! In the back of Hummer there wasn’t a blanket…a bag of some sort–what the hell were the guns, explosives, hand grenades and what not in. Or are they just rolling in the backseat with your 2 lessons of driving. Forget about running out of gas, watch out for the speed bumps. And what about branches…., at least throw some branches over her. What the heck!

  2. joesix

    Screw you, lady! You weren’t there. You weren’t being chased by an armed group of homeless people in the middle of God-knows-where.

    You have no right to lecture me about proper burial techniques until you see the love of your life die right before your eyes and you have to make the hard choice of paying respect or surviving.

    • Suzie Rita

      Love of your life…really. Some big shot you are. You couldn’t even protect her. You were to busy trying to save your own ass. I hope the homeless people get you.

      • joesix

        And what was I supposed to protect her with, All-Knowing-One? My netbook? My Tic-Tacs? My unfettered sense of righteousness?

        How about you get off your high horse in California or South Korea or whatever place you’re hiding and get yourself kidnapped by a group of vagabonds with an arsenal that would make the Taliban blush. Then, when someone tries to kill your presumably geeky boyfriend, you can tell me how easy it is protect him barehanded.

  3. Suzie Rita

    When you take off the dress, let me know. You cared only about yourself, and now you think back trying to comfort yourself. Saying, I did all I can–you can shine a piece of shit as much as you like and you know what, it’s still just a piece of shit. So, enjoy your Tic-Tacs and tell me where you are. I’m in New York and if you miss her so much I have no problem helping you see her again. I’ll be on my horse waiting.

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