Dear Planet Earth,
Just because practically the entire Internet has been under the control of mole people for the past three months doesn’t give me an excuse to ignore the lost power of social media. On the off chance that humanity does reclaim cyberspace someday, Beneath Average will be there waiting on Facebook and Twitter.
It might not be that far-fetched. A couple of weeks ago, when I was still able-bodied and touring with the boys of Fort Doomsday, one of the computer geeks was telling me that if he wasn’t so busy with other projects, he could put some time into figuring out what exactly’s blocking our access to major websites and how to stop it. He seemed pretty optimistic — all things considered — that we could someday hack our way around their hack and start communicating again in 140 characters.