Dear Planet Earth,
We started rationing smaller portions of food today. I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. If anything, I was one of the first to suggest it.
And sure, it’s just five ounces less in each meal. But what happens next week when we’re still stuck here, with no plan of where to go next? How long before this tea party becomes the Donner party? I’m not ready to throw out our new tribesmen — these “The Others” — into the great unknown world of murderous mole men, but someone has to be thinking of the long term here, and I’m not seeing anyone offer any brilliant ideas.
I’d be the first one to volunteer in a campaign of good ol’ fashioned supermarket looting, but the general’s convinced we’re too isolated from the nearest urban metropolis to find one.
You want to know the really funny part? For the past week, I’ve been sleeping under a vinyl banner that reads “Feed Your Brain. . . With a Book!”