Tagged: korean

Dispatches from the Cinnabon

Dear Planet Earth,

I just heard another rumbling in the background. We’ve been hearing one every few hours now, some louder and more earth-shattering than others. It’s the drill snake, burrowing underneath, searching for more humans to kill. Searching for us.

It’s nine of us now: Mr. Ozawa and Mrs. Bing, both injured from our run in with the metal monster; Randall, the science teacher who must have been injured in Vietnam or Korea; Maria, who I’d try to flirt with if I could stop from shaking; Halston, Linares, and Karter, the hardened soldiers with no more than ten years on me; innocent Rachel, my quirky computer thief; and me, quiet, terrified, bitter, sleep-deprived me.

We’re hiding out in the back of Cinnabon now, having already raided See’s Candies, Taco Bell, and Hot Dog on a Stick. I’d worry about my girlish figure if I wasn’t already worried about being torn to pieces by a mole man super weapon with chainsaw arms.

As far as our game plan goes, no one’s offering any compelling ideas. There was some grumbling about heading back to the library, but we don’t want to lead the drill snake there when it’s unlikely Talpa and the rest of the troops could fight it off. It’s more likely that we’ll try to ride out this storm right here, listening for the rumblings and shitting our pants.

The Timeline

Dear Planet Earth,

Here it is — the official timeline of events from October 7 to right now. It’s a little long and chaotic, but I guess that just fits the theme of everything lately. I tried to make it as detailed as possible without focusing too much on me, but there’s still so little we know about the events that have been happening outside of Nevada. Please add any other information you might have in the comments below.

October 7, 2011 — The first major earthquakes occur in Uganda. We know now these quakes were caused by the enormous drills making their long treks up to the surface.

October 16, 2011 — The mole people hack the entirety of cyberspace for the first time with a message that initially looked like gibberish using Cyrillic characters. The loss of communication with Uganda planted the first seeds of worldwide panic.

October 20, 2011 — CNN sends in an army of reporters to document the situation in Uganda. The video stream abruptly ends the next day after images of explosions flood the screens, presumably from the mole men’s first attack on humanity.

October 23, 2011 — Another hack and another message arrive. This message, typed with Korean characters, heralded the beginning of the media blackout that continues to this day.

October 26, 2011 — The earthquakes begin in Las Vegas. It takes a full six days for them to stop and reveal their source — another drill.

November 1, 2011 — Twitter and YouTube come back online with limited functionality. Although the tremors have stopped, they’ve caused irreparable damage to the people and infrastructure of the entire country.

November 5, 2011 — The mole men release their first message with English characters. They demand utter subservience as our future masters, claiming we’ve ruined our chance of ruling the upper crust by destroying the environment.

November 11, 2011 — New York City is swiftly attacked and defeated by the mole people.

November 12, 2011 — I am kidnapped by a group of heavily armed homeless people. It is now thought that the homeless have been secret spies for the mole people for countless generations.

November 15, 2011 — Miami and Washington, D.C. are both attacked and defeated by the mole people.

November 22, 2011 — I am arrested and interrogated by an army battalion under the command of General Talpa. They release me after determining I’m not a threat, though I’m told my name was among thousands being broadcast by the drills.

December 6, 2011 — Atlanta is attacked and defeated by the mole people.

December 7, 2011 — A large group of homeless people begin to gather around the Las Vegas drill. Chicago is attacked and defeated by the mole people.

December 18, 2011 — I make contact with a homeless woman who makes me think I’m more connected to the enemy than I’d like.

December 21, 2011 — The Las Vegas drill begins to vibrate and open. The mole men attack and our battalion is forced to retreat the city. This was the first time we actually had a face and a name for our enemy (which I coined).

December 25, 2011 — General Talpa’s remaining troops regroup with another battalion just outside the Clark County basin.

December 29, 2011 — We continue west, but are ambushed by mole people near a public high school. A number of civilians taking refuge in the high school flee with us toward Creech Air Force Base.

December 30, 2011 — We arrive at Creech Air Force Base, but it is already in shambles. Our battalion plans a major offensive against an approaching force of mole people.

January 1, 2012 — Our forces are severely beaten in battle and forced to retreat. I am shot in the leg by a strange weapon that seems to have no bullets.

January 4, 2012 — Phoenix is attacked and defeated by the mole people.

January 10, 2012 — We arrive at St. Mark’s Hospital to regroup and treat our wounded, me among them.

January 13, 2012 — General Talpa’s battalion heads out once again to look for survivors and build a resistance.

January 25, 2012 — The troops raid a camp of mole men and secure the first known victory against them.

February 8, 2012 — The hospital is attacked by a small group of mole men shortly after the troops return.

The Other Message

Dear Planet Earth,

I’m not sure if anyone can actually read this or not.  Every major website is still offline since the cyber attack on Sunday.  I was only able to access my blog after one of my friends showed me an easy way to hack in.  The coding is apparently a lot more simple than most “real” news sites.

You can imagine my surprise when I found this message on my blog and every other page on the Internet.  Like the last mysterious message that dominated cyberspace, this one is written with foreign characters (Korean), but it’s just one long string of nonsense.  I assume that this message was likewise meant to be typed on a different keyboard layout.

The biggest news, of course, is the fact that there is no news.  Every television and radio station is still broadcasting nothing but static and every GSM cell phone is now just a paperweight.  It’s hard to tell if we’re in a state of emergency or not with so many spam messages going around.  How/Could the government communicate to people in a situation like this?  Are we in real danger or are we just not able to communicate the way we did twenty years ago?